What I've Learned in 6 Months

A couple of days ago my angels, Sakura and Akira, turned 6 months old. That's half a year already. Granted Sakura spent more than half of that time in the NICU, but it's like it never happened. Those memories, although they are still there, don't haunt me like they use to. I don't think about those terrible, anxiety ridden days anymore. Suppressing memories? No, I think back to those days and I get shivers thinking of how far they have come. Also, my sister-in-law is expecting, so I relive those days every time she asks me for advice, and I'm glad to do it. I once thought I would lose my babies, now they are thriving! Praise God!

I have been though a lot in the last six months and as a result I have learned many things. Here are some:

1. God is real and He performs miracles EVERYDAY
2. Laughter is the best medicine there is
3. I am NOT Super Mom, although I do look good in a cape
4. French Onion flavored Sun Chips are the bomb
5. Allowing others to help is NOT a sign of weakness
6. I am Sakura and Akira's only advocate and I have to stand my ground for what I deem good and healthy for them
7. Family traditions are NOT mandatory for my family
8. Being a mami doesn't equal having no life of my own
9. My husband is not a punching bag. This is all new to him, too
10. Pray, pray, pray

My girls will teach me loads of things before they even know what teaching is. As much as these two drive me nuts, I love them to pieces. Thanks girls! Mama love you!!!

Reflecting On My Journey

I wrote a post a couple of days ago about Sasa and her journey in the NICU. Since then I can't stop thinking about how far both of my girls have come. I never thought in a million years I'd be pregnant with twins and they would be born three months early while on vacation in NY. What are the chances of that happening?!?! I pray that I never forget my experiences this summer. As terrible and traumatic as they have been, I have been shown God's awesome power and unconditional (agape) love for His creation. Some may say "Look at what God has done to you and your girls. How can He let that happen?" God has made a true believer out of me and I pray that others can find it in their hearts to find answers for themselves. My girls are alive, healthy and growing stronger everyday. I've said it before, nobody can look at my girls and say that there is no God.

In this blog I try to be as real and true as possible. I want my readers to really grasp the emotion and drama of the events that have taken place this summer, but sometimes there aren't words to explain it. When I saw my fragile little girls, the pain and guilt that overcame me was unbearable. I was numb and felt horrible. I was on the verge of tears every single time I saw them. I would often burst into flat out crying sessions before I saw them, after I saw them, at home thinking of them, but never in front of the girls or any nurses. I could cry now just thinking about it. I don't wish these horrors on anyone.

What pulled me though it all was God. I looked to him every time and every time He picked me up. Again and again without fail my Savior stepped in and gave me hope and comforted me. And look now, Mimi is home and thriving and Sasa will be home soon, just waiting on her O2 monitor. You never know what you can handle until you've been brought through it. When you reflect on it you realize you've become a new person, a very different person. I thought I couldn't go through anything worse than losing my mother at age ten and growing up without her. What have I learned while walking through this wilderness? I know that the Lord is on my side and I will trust His path for my life. Thank you Jesus for the health you have restored in myself and my children! Amen!