What I've Learned in 6 Months

A couple of days ago my angels, Sakura and Akira, turned 6 months old. That's half a year already. Granted Sakura spent more than half of that time in the NICU, but it's like it never happened. Those memories, although they are still there, don't haunt me like they use to. I don't think about those terrible, anxiety ridden days anymore. Suppressing memories? No, I think back to those days and I get shivers thinking of how far they have come. Also, my sister-in-law is expecting, so I relive those days every time she asks me for advice, and I'm glad to do it. I once thought I would lose my babies, now they are thriving! Praise God!

I have been though a lot in the last six months and as a result I have learned many things. Here are some:

1. God is real and He performs miracles EVERYDAY
2. Laughter is the best medicine there is
3. I am NOT Super Mom, although I do look good in a cape
4. French Onion flavored Sun Chips are the bomb
5. Allowing others to help is NOT a sign of weakness
6. I am Sakura and Akira's only advocate and I have to stand my ground for what I deem good and healthy for them
7. Family traditions are NOT mandatory for my family
8. Being a mami doesn't equal having no life of my own
9. My husband is not a punching bag. This is all new to him, too
10. Pray, pray, pray

My girls will teach me loads of things before they even know what teaching is. As much as these two drive me nuts, I love them to pieces. Thanks girls! Mama love you!!!

The Good, The Bad, and The Beautiful

I am so all over the place! Things are nuts, crazy, I'm drowning, etc., etc.. Man I need to vent. I do have a pretty good feeding schedule going with the girls, but that's about it. They are always crying maniacs in the afternoon and well into the evening. A friend said they might be teething, but I don't feel anything in their gums about the push through, but that doesn't mean that teeth aren't trying to push through. Everyone thinks "poor babies", but what about mami? Sometimes these girls make me want to jump out a window and other times I want to run away for a week or two. A friend of mine said that I'm not taking care of myself. I agree with her, but how am I suppose to do that? At this point I need to get out of here for a few days, going for a pedicure isn't going to do it for me. I'll be anxious the whole time about going back home that I won't even enjoy myself. I know it sounds terrible, but everyone that has a job with benefits gets vacation time. and everyone with a job has set hours; you do your time and you go home. I don't get that pleasure. It's 24/7 for me. Being a SAHM is not what I thought it would be. For starters, I always imagined it would be with one baby, not two. It is so much work to be a mom, SAHM or working mom. The last thing I want to hear is "Well, that's the decision you made." Right, it was my decision to have twins and have them 3 months early on top of that. I didn't "take pills" or have IVF, mine were conceived the old fashioned way. I've said it before and I say it again: God gave me twins because He knew one baby would've been way too easy for me. Moms absolutely do not get enough credit for what they do, what they sacrifice, and how much of themselves they give to their children and families. If my mother were alive today, I would kiss her feet every time I saw her. She was a SAHM and now I understand all she did for my sister and I. Thanks, mami, for everything.

I know it's easy to vent and harp on what's wrong and terrible in life, but I want to remember the good times, too. I may struggle with my girls, but they are my life. They are beautiful. They are my miracle babies. I can't imagine my life without them now that I have them. They are a pain in my ass at times, but they are just as important to me as the air I breathe. The tears, frustration, anger, fatigue and feelings of regret all melt away when Akira "talks" to me or Sakura smiles at me and stares into my eyes when I sing to her. Never does a day go by that I remember I could have lost them, they could have died, I could have came home childless. No matter how bad or how hard it gets, I remind myself of the miracles Sakura and Akira are, I wipe my tears and I tell them I love them more than they can imagine.

It's very hard these days to pick myself up and keep going. Everyday it seems to get harder and rougher. I do need to take care of myself more and I'll have to figure that out. Make sure you take care of yourself as well. God willing, I'll be able to get back on track.

Be Informed

Finding out you are pregnant is the most exhilarating moment of your life. There is life growing inside you! It's such a beautiful experience. I encourage expecting moms to educate themselves about pregnancy and find the support they need. You can find information everywhere.

For Information and Support Visit:
MarchofDimes.com
BabyCenter.com

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American Baby @ AmericanBaby.com
Baby Talk @ BabyTalk.com (scoll all the way to the bottom find "Subscribe" on the left and click on "subscribe to BabyTalk")