Reflecting On My Journey

I wrote a post a couple of days ago about Sasa and her journey in the NICU. Since then I can't stop thinking about how far both of my girls have come. I never thought in a million years I'd be pregnant with twins and they would be born three months early while on vacation in NY. What are the chances of that happening?!?! I pray that I never forget my experiences this summer. As terrible and traumatic as they have been, I have been shown God's awesome power and unconditional (agape) love for His creation. Some may say "Look at what God has done to you and your girls. How can He let that happen?" God has made a true believer out of me and I pray that others can find it in their hearts to find answers for themselves. My girls are alive, healthy and growing stronger everyday. I've said it before, nobody can look at my girls and say that there is no God.

In this blog I try to be as real and true as possible. I want my readers to really grasp the emotion and drama of the events that have taken place this summer, but sometimes there aren't words to explain it. When I saw my fragile little girls, the pain and guilt that overcame me was unbearable. I was numb and felt horrible. I was on the verge of tears every single time I saw them. I would often burst into flat out crying sessions before I saw them, after I saw them, at home thinking of them, but never in front of the girls or any nurses. I could cry now just thinking about it. I don't wish these horrors on anyone.

What pulled me though it all was God. I looked to him every time and every time He picked me up. Again and again without fail my Savior stepped in and gave me hope and comforted me. And look now, Mimi is home and thriving and Sasa will be home soon, just waiting on her O2 monitor. You never know what you can handle until you've been brought through it. When you reflect on it you realize you've become a new person, a very different person. I thought I couldn't go through anything worse than losing my mother at age ten and growing up without her. What have I learned while walking through this wilderness? I know that the Lord is on my side and I will trust His path for my life. Thank you Jesus for the health you have restored in myself and my children! Amen!