Wow A New Year Already!!!

Let me catch you up while the girls are (finally) asleep. It's never a dull moment in this house lol! The holidays are a blur to me, but it was great to see family that I haven't seen in years and for everyone to see the girls. I guess the biggest news would be that Sakura came off her oxygen!!!! She came off in typical Sakura fashion, she ripped her canula off her face, on December 31st and rung in the New Year breathing on her own. Praise God!!! It is awesome being able to walk around with her without being bound to a tank or monitors. I was so nervous that she wouldn't be ok, so I was watching her like a hawk. Her monitor went off a lot, but her lung doctor said that it was normal, not that it made me feel better. She's still doing great! Hopefully, now she will gain some weight, she's only 7 lbs. and that's pushing it. Thankfully, her dependency on oxygen hasn't kept her from hitting her milestones. She is cooing, smiling, laughing, playing with toys, and rolling over,if you can believe it!! Thank you, Lord for keeping my babies healthy!

Akira has been blossoming!!!! Shes is probably 2 lbs. heavier than Sakura. She can do so many things now! She smiles, laughs, plays with toys that are in front of her. And the best yet, she's not colicky anymore lol! She is trying hard to roll over, I know she's going to do it pretty soon. It's amazing to watch her grow and develop. I remember when she was a 4lb. 11oz. blob when we brought her home. I just watch her in amazement sometimes when she's "talking" to her "friends" lol. It's the cutest thing ever! I think it's weird, but I can't imagine them older. I can't imagine them talking or crawling yet. I guess that's what it means to "live int he moment". Who said my girls were going to be delayed?

When we first got home it was crazy. I was having a really hard time assuming my new role as Mother-of-Preemie-Twins. I couldn't makes my girls happy if my life depended on it. I hated asking for help because I wanted to do it by myself. I cried and screamed a lot. I felt like a complete failure. Postpartum depression? Not sure, but I know I wasn't happy. I kept telling myself that I was not cut out for this and I'm not a good mother. I was angry at God for giving me twins. I only wanted one baby, not two. After my temporary moments of insanity, I prayed for God to help me, and He did. He helped me by showing me that I don't have to be Super Mom. I learned it's ok to accept help from others and with time I will get into the groove of things. I used to think of myself as a mom who has two children and I didn't want "special treatment" because I have twins. I'm over that now! Having two babies is definitely hard and I greatly appreciate all the help I can get.

It's been 2 months since the whole family has been together and what an adventure it has been. It feels like we have been home a lot longer then that. With the craziness of last year behind me, I look forward to the adventures that lie ahead. I continuously pray for the health of my daughters and thank God for all the guidance and provision He has blessed my family with.

Happy New Year!!!!

Wow It Just Never Ends!!!!

For those of you who know my story, you already know that I have had enough drama and trauma to last a lifetime. While waiting for my daughter to come out of the NICU we got a phone call from my friend back home who is house sitting. She started out with "I have bad news", not a good way to start a convo. My first thought was someone broke into the house. Thank God that wasn't it. I can't really handle anything else happening. I haven't mentioned my first child Britto, a 2 year old black and white cat that I've had since he was 2 months old. He has been shipped back and forth between houses and taken care of by different people, poor cat. On one of his trips he picked up fleas. He was bathed in flea shampoo when he was returned to my house, but apparently that didn't work. Now there are fleas in the house!!! Unbelievable, I know. Since my daughter will be coming home soon family and friends back home are rushing to get rid of the fleas.

I mean, really, can anything just go right so that I don't have to worry about it? I feel so bad about putting the burden on people back home. They have already done so much for us and I don't want them to be responsible for this as well. Getting rid of fleas is not easy! Thank God for the friends and family I have, I would go completely nuts about not being able to fix all these issues.

One thing that I have learned while being here is letting others help me. I hate asking for help and if I think I can do it myself then I will, if I can't then I will figure out a way to get it done. I've not only let other people help me, I've let them make decisions for me including what to do with my cat and what color to paint the girls nursery (that was a big one for me). But all is well and I'm still alive. It's ok to ask for help and to allow others to help you. Shout out to my friends and family who have made this incredible ride as smooth as possible. I love you guys!!!