Wednesday, March 16, 2011

AHHHHHHHH I'm Alone with the Girls!!!!

My husband had to leave the country for his job for two weeks. For about a month leading up to it I was so nervous. I really didn't want to depend on my friends to help me because they all have their own lives. I thought of all the worst things that could happen, the exhaustion and the constant crying (from the girls and myself). I was going to stay with my parents for two weeks, but I didn't want Sakura to miss 2 sessions of therapy, so I decided to suck it up and make it happen.

I'm so happy I decided to stay.

Never have I seen people pull together to surround me with help and support. I haven't had a day alone since Juan left. It's truly God at work. I don't know what I would've done without the help of friends and family giving up their time to help me, giving up their familiar surroundings and cozy beds to sleep at my house. That's what I call love! Thank you so much, you know who you are. You have been a blessing to me and my family since the beginning and I'm honored to have you in my life. Never did I think I would have such a wonderful, caring and kind person to share life with. You're the best and I pray I can be a blessing in your life as well.

God works in the craziest ways. You never know how He's going to show up: a quiet whisper or roaring as loud as thunder. Praise God!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Joys of Motherhood!

Wow it's been so long! I've been very busy taking care of my little ones and trying to get into a groove. I feel like it's taken me so long to get into a schedule and for things to settle down. I know that it takes time to adjust, but I was so very lost on what to do and how to make my life easier. Finally, I have peace and time to myself regularly.

So much has happened since my last post! Sakura rung in the new year oxygen tank free!!! I watched her like a hawk because I was scared she would turn blue on me. She is still on her breathing treatments, but she's down from twice a day to once a day, which makes my life better. She is now a full 10 lbs. and finally out of newborn sized clothes. She was evaluated for developmental delays and is now having physical therapy weekly for an hour. Surprisingly, I wasn't devastated by the news. What parent wants their baby in therapy? I don't know if it was my experience working with special needs children or my expecting her to need therapy that gave me peace about it, all I know is that I felt peaceful about it and I was eager to get her started. She is currently not at her adjusted age on a few things like pushing up on her arms and holding her head while she's being pulled up. Her language/speech skills, on the other hand, are above her adjusted age, but under her actual age. She's starting to play with her playmat, which she used to absolutely hate. Her personality is definately flirty and drama queen rolled in one. I wonder who she gets it from :) She loves to smile at everyone who smiles at her. She loves being outside, sometimes it's the only thing that shuts her up. she looks all around at the trees, sky, flowers and water. So curious! Overall, my Thumbellina is growing stronger, getting bigger and learning more everyday

Akira is doing great as well. She is blossoming into a beautiful, attentive, curious baby. I enjoy being with her so much. She's gotten to the point where she is reacting to tickling games and belly-bubbles. She's reaches for my face and "talks" to me. She's so much fun to be with. Sakura is getting there, but she needs more time. Akira is now 11 1/2 pounds and is wearing 3-6 months clothes. They are 7 1/2 months now, so they are smaller than a term-baby, but that just means that I get to have adorable little dolls a little longer. Akira gets so close to rolling over and then doesn't do it. I'm waiting for her to finally get her but over! Akira is still battling her reflux and I've gotten it all down to a science now: meds before nap and bedtime and a bib at all times. At her evaluation nothing showed that she needed therapy, but that doesn't mean she won't need it in the future. She scored pretty close to her actual age, which was such a relief. Her personality is definitely more serious. If she doesn't know you she will stare at you and most likely will not smile. If she's tired or pooping, she doesn't have any desire to please a smiling crowd. Hmmmm, is that me or Juan ;) She also loves to be outside like Sakura, which is awesome because I like a relaxing day at the beach or a hike through the woods once in a while. Overall my Chunka-Monka is doing more than I could ask for and is teaching her sister how to get it done.

Both girls are eating solids now. They eat lots of veggies and fruits. No allergies to any so far, thank God. Both are loving life and taking it by the horns. They are the most beautiful babies ever.

It can get pretty confusing and challenging raising a preemie, but I treat both girls as if they were born full-term. I understand they will be delayed, but not in all areas. I will expect them to "act their age" and if they don't, we can work on it. I'm not going to start them off as if they have already failed. Most of the people I meet (doctors, therapists, other moms) don't agree with some of the things I do or don't do with and for my girls. I just say what my mother-in-law says, "People are different". What works for me may not work for you and that's fine, so stop badgering me about it. My girls are alive, happy and healthy and that's all I could ask for. They are also always telling me "It's ok if they're not doing it now, delays are to be expected." Expected and the norm are two different things. Obviously not all preemies have significant delays, my girls are shining examples. I'm sure they are trying to reassure me that everything will be ok, it's just annoying to me.

Life with twins has been very challenging and time consuming, but I've finally gotten a handle on things. I'm even planning on baby #3 ( I know, shocking, right). Yes, there is life after my horrendous experience and there is still room in my heart for another baby and enough love to go around. God can defiantly change hearts!